A fairy tale IV - Cecil/Titius here
Autor: Cecil
That is a question I often ask myself in times of despair.
It seems to be so easy. I am me, no matter what other people say or what they want me to be. I am me...
But what is this me? It's empty. Lifeless.
It has no meaning.
He slept next to me, because I had pretended to be tired. There I lay with this one question in my head. Who am I?
What is it he sees in me? Is it man or woman? Is it the person he came for or is it someone new to him?
I don't know me. How could he?
I am yearning for the touches of comfort he gives me, for the sweet words he says. But what does he see?
I am not giving my body. It is wrong. My body is wrong. I shouldn't be this way, look this way. Did I look like I feel... would he still behave the way he does? Does he understand why I feel sick when he touches me too long? Can he understand?
I am not me. Me is a cage. He saw the cage and was fascinated. He heard the voice from the inside and was fascinated. But he couldn't look inside. Couldn't see me. And I couldn't reach out. I watched and studied but it was to no avail. I didn't feel and I didn't understand. He sees the fine style of the cage but I see the black bars of it against the sun from the outside.
I am exactly me, nothing else. I am not me. Me is a cage. I am me.
Who am I?"