On my knees
On my knees
Narrow clouds of smoke make their way up to the ceiling, but they never reach it. It is the same as in real life, they will fade away, before they reach their goal. Die before they achieve perfection. Perfect... what does that mean anyway? In her case probably to eliminate all undead on this earth and produce a heir. Production... it wouldn't be anything else, she asked her self in any case, if she would be able to love. She knew what it was like to be lonely, but to love?
She looked at the portrait of her dead father, slowly stood up and moved towards the portrait. By standing in front of it, she behold the dead, in oil painted effigy of her beloved father.
"Lonelyness father, do you know what it's like to live in total lonelyness? When there are thousands of people around you and you still have that eroding feeling of lonelyness deep inside of you? This feeling, that threatens to asphyxiate you, no matter how hard you try to defend yourself, how loud you scream and shout, how hard you struggle, it won't let you go."
With silent steps she betook herself to the windowwall of her office. Basically she was a living undead. Ruled by lonelyness, not able to feel anything else. That thought let her laugh instinctively.
If he was lonely, too? He has been alone for centurys now, at least that is what she guessed.
Slowly she turned her back to the window and let herself slide to the floor. Huddling, she weigh her possibilities out. The advantages and disadvantages of what she could do. And she made a decision.
She got up and light-footed got back to the portrait of her father.
-*- I can fall down on my knees and apologize to you, but that's not my style.-*-
"I apologize for disappointing you, father, but I have made my decision. Why shouldn't I be immortal, when my feelings turned to cold long time ago. "
Two red-glowing eyes appeared behind her, " Do you really think being undead bring a lack of feelings with it?". His voice seemed to echo from everywhere, still it did not spark off more than a small shudder, which ran over her back.
Silent, she turned around and walked towards him. Light, she layed her hand on his breast and looked at him.
Withour her needing to ask he answered " My body is dead, still I have feelings." He took her hand and and indicated her to shut her eyes.
Sequences of his life went through her mind. For every scene she saw she was able to feel what he must have felt that time. Sadness, fear, extacy.
"You see, even if you were undead you would still have to fight emotions."
She sighed and placed her head on his breast. "Please make it stop, I can not take it anymore. This emptiness inside of me... it's overwhelming me."
And he did something, that seemed to be the only right thing in this situation, he hugged her. Gave her physical and mental protection.
"Alucard, are you lonely?"
He answered without needing to think a lot about it "No, since 10 years I am not lonely anymore. That was when I found a being, that is coequal for me, that I respect and adore."
Her innocent, ice-blue view met his garnet-red.
~*~*~end-chapter one~*~*
